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December 3rd, 2006

12:40 am
i miss her...

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June 4th, 2006

02:58 pm - ho finito!
I am no longer a student of Morton West High School. This is absolutely insane. Senior year is over. All we have left is Graduation Rehersal on Wednesday and the Commencement on Friday.

Senior Breakfast was absolutely amazing. I was very pleasantly surprised.

We are all leaving soon and I am so scared.

Really I just want things to be normal again. I miss her so much. I wish I knew how to fix it.

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April 30th, 2006

08:49 pm - mom...
She was hospitalized today at Palos Community Hospital. I feel sick to my stomach. Today was supposed to involve work and a trip to Chicago. Instead, it involved authorities and the psych ward. I have nothing right now. Jill wont talk to me and I dont know how to fix it anymore. My best friend left and my mother tried to take her own life again. I dont want to be here anymore. I wish I could run away but I have noone to run to.

I need a miracle.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

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April 27th, 2006

11:07 pm - normal?
Today was the most normal day I have had in a very long time. Mind you I had court (which is not so normal). I had work for a couple of hours (four actually, which is the most sane shift i have had in weeks) and then met up with Jill. We went to Orland so she could give blood. That girl makes me a nervous wreck. Even though she has the same reaction to blood donation every time, I still get worried/scared every time. Her lips turn white and her face turns green. Anyway once she felt better we took advantage of being out in richpersonville and went shopping in Orland Square. I had a lot of fun and I realized Jill and I hadn't just hung out in a really long time. We shopped all the time before and just randomly went anywhere and today felt just really normal. I liked it and I had a lot of fun.

Tomorrow is senior ditch day. Lol. Go figure, Jill and I are going in first and second hour to say good bye to Ms. Groeper and to hand in our homework. We are so bad at ditching lol.

I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by.

I am off to finish my stock assignment. I heart Econ.

love u.

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April 9th, 2006

11:42 pm
They don't agree on much
in fact they rarely agree on anything
they fight all the time
& they challenge each other everyday
but in spite their differences
they have one important thing in common
they would kill for each other and are there until the end...

**thought of you with this***

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11:15 pm
so i have been awaiting my 18th birthday for the last oh 18 years and right now i just really want it to go away. i dont want my birthday anymore. for what? to make it more obvious that i have noone anymore? no thank you.

work was fun but uber busy. tomorrow should prove to be the same.

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March 21st, 2006

10:23 pm - Iowa timeline
Campus tour with mom and sister: April 14th
Orientation/Registration: June 26-27
Move-in day: August 19th
First day of college: August 21

I am soooo freaking out but I am sooo effin excited!

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March 14th, 2006

04:03 pm
the last couple of weeks have been so random and emotionally draining. one day i am incredibly happy and the next i am laying in bed not wanting to ever move. today was the perfect example. i woke up in a good mood (its the alarm i set) and then first hour orlando totally killed my good morning with his ignorant and bigot conversation. i know he is definitely going to NOT do his part of the project and entirely screw my group over. i am so aggrivated by him. outside of class, he is a great kid. i just cannot stand him being in my group.

the rest of the day was decent and now i am talking to joey. He comes home Mayb 11th and is probably not moving back to Arizona. This boy completely baffles me. The entire time we dated he rarely said i love you and then he moves to a different state and all of a sudden confesses his love to me, after we have been broken up for 11 months. this is absolutely insane. i dont even know what to make of it.

anyway, i sent in my orientation information to Iowa. Hopefully I get one of the dates I chose. I am going out there with my mom April 14th to do the whole campus tour thing. I am getting really nervous. I cried the other night as I was filling a bunch of paperwork out. At the very least I will be three and a half hours away from my best friend. It is all still very odd to me. I won't look over every single day and see Jill sitting next to me. I won't hit speed dial 2 every day and be like "I am leaving my house. See you in ten." I am scared. nervous. excited. and a part of me gets a bit sadder every day.

growing up is not supposed to be this hard. I guess I have to trust everything will be okay.

what if i don't like it out there?
im hungry. i need a nap too.
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: cascada

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March 9th, 2006

11:11 pm - i am sooo gonna miss chi-town

Your living room is called the "front room." (pronounced fronchroom)
You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois, and you become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"), and everything is pretty much 15 minutes away.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "DesPlaines."
Your school classes were canceled because of the cold weather. Your school classes were canceled because of the hot weather.
You've switched from heat to air conditioning in the same day.
Your grocery stores don't have sacks; they have bags.
You end your sentences with prepositions: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with," or "Come by and pick me up."
Your idea of a great sandwich is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, it has everything on it, and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.
You always carry jumper cables in your car.
You drink "pop," not soda.
You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different highways.
You know the names of the interstates:
Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan, and the Edens, but you call them all "expressways."
You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."
You know what the "cribs" are.
You refer to Chicago as "The City."
The "Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1985.
No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown," you immediately assume they're talking about downtown Chicago.
You know "the Loop" means Downtown.
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!
You read "The Trib."
You drive to the North suburbs by taking "The Outer Drive" even though no such road exists.
When giving directions - You say ...
Go toward Wisconsin; Go South; Go West; Go towards the Lake!
You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog and what does not go on. You NEVER put Katchup on a hot dog!
You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.
You know what "Italian Beef" is.
You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."
You understand what "lake-effect" means.
You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. (Do note the preposition.)
You ride the "L."
You can distinguish among the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.
You respond to the question "Where are you from with a "side." Example: "WESS SIDE," "SOUT SIDE," or "NORT SIDE."
You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.
And, the all time CHICAGO CLASSIC: You have at some time in your life, used your furniture to guard your parking spot in winter.

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February 21st, 2006

03:56 pm - to the senior class of 2006
Four years ago we stepped into high school as individuals seeking to do well, to find our identity, to find our best friend. We opened our lockers for the first time, looked at our schedules, thought about how great it was to finally be in high school. Four years ago we met our best friend, we went to our first school dance, had a crush on a cute senior. Four years ago, we couldn't wait to get older

Three years ago we stepped into high school believing that we owned the place. No longer the lowly freshman, we had a new attitude. Still individuals searching for themselves, looking to fit in, wanting to achieve something. We followed our daily routines, expanded our circle of friends, and talked about parties. Three years ago we made a new best friend, went to sweet sixteen's every weekend, thought we were too mature for school dances. Three years ago we couldn't wait to get older.

Two years ago we became upper classman. We began to realize that we were growing up. We got our licenses, started driving out on weekends. Two years ago we realized who our true friends were and cherished the times we spent with them. We found where we fit in, yet still seemed to be looking for something else. Two years ago we started talking about college, thinking it was still so far away. We took our first ACTs, got our rings, and realized that time really does fly. But two years ago we still couldn't wait to get older.

One year ago we entered the school as seniors. We had senioritis before classes even resumed, we got to leave school early and come in late. Everything we did was the last our last homecoming pep rally, our last season in a sport, our last birthday at home. One year ago we took our time together for granted, we went to party after party on the weekend, we rebelled, and we learned. One year ago, we still had the same best friend and cherished time spent with them. We started applying to college, far and near. We got accepted, we got rejected, we found exactly where we wanted to go. We realized that we would no longer have the comfort of home within a year.

Now, we finally realize that we could have waited to get older. We realize that time has somehow slipped away and soon we will be saying good-bye. Saying good-bye to our friends, our family, our home. Maybe for a short time maybe forever. Soon we will go to our senior prom, graduate, sit for the last time with everyone. It is the last time we will all be together, recognized as the class of 2006. Now we are getting excited about starting over, getting sad about what we will leave behind, getting anxious to move on. Now we realize just how important our best friends are, how much fun we really did have in the four years. Now we wish we could be younger. We wish we could have taken the time to appreciate every moment to slow down time. Now we face having to say good-bye.

In one year we will return as different people. We will have experienced dorm life, ate campus food, met new friends. We will have joined a club, maybe a sorority, done something new. In one year we will be new people. We will still be searching for our identity to find our niche. We will have picked majors, changed majors, passed and failed at things we tried. In one year we will know more about ourselves and what we want to become. We will remember the past times and look fondly at the memories, although we will have created new memories. Yet one thing will still remain. In one year, we will still have that same best friend. Maybe since kindergarten, maybe since high school, maybe a college roommate. That person can be found in new friends and old. Without them, we would have nothing. Four years brought change. Friendship held us strong when things were shaky, in good times and bad, in laughter and tears, through boyfriends and girlfriends, bad grades, family problems, and love. Our friends showed us that life was worth enjoying. With them, we wanted to grow up so quickly. Now, they are the only ones with whom we will remain forever young.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

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